The Road from Hell

The road was toying with us. It was playing good cop/bad cop, and was acting both parts. One minute it was all solicitous friend, attentive to our every need. Is the tarmac too rough for you? Here, have a freshly laid, teflon-flat ribbon of bliss. Too much traffic? I'll just remove some of these cars. At other times it was like a brisk civil servant, efficiently and fairly fulfilling it's duties. This is a trunk road, and the traffic must move quickly. But there's room for all, and all have a right to use it. And then at others it was like a monstrous harridan, malicious and vindictive. And powerful. Stop your moaning! Think you've got problems? Well here's a motorway, peopled by nothing but salesmen in a hurry and timber-carrying articulated lorries! It was all terrifying and unsettling, but in the end the road took pity on us, and gifted us a cycle track, that took us gently home. Home tonight is a youth hostel on the edge of the Cairngorms, beatiful in its Germanic love of wooden interiors, and the universal hostel owners' love of passive-aggressive notices. 'Please eat your meals in the kitchen. Thank you.' 'We are not on mains water so our water is extra precious. Please have a quick shower.' 'Please dry yourself in the shower cubicle or the rest of the floor gets too wet. Thank you.' You get the sense that if you stay still too long you'll get a similar notice attached to you. 'Please move as other hostel users cannot make use of this space. Thank you.' Despite - or maybe because of - the iniquities of the petulant road we managed 105 miles today. I say 'because of' as its erratic behaviour made us seek out different routes. At one point we headed for the semi-racist Nigg (which got me thinking of Blazing Saddles), to get the ferry to Cromarty, and cut through the countryside on a less beligerant road. We went 10 miles out of our way, only to find a notice at the ferry point saying they were sorry, but the service wouldn't start again until June. So we had to trudge back and make our peace with the road from hell. Hopefully tomorrow will be less challenging. But tomorrow takes us into the heart of the Cairngorm mountains. . .